Vrei un Altoid?

Ok, this is an issue I must touch upon. Moldovan Old Man Breath. I have experienced it in public places, and in tight enclosed rutieras in the summer heat. This is not a pleasant experience, mind you. The most recent occurrence was while riding on a train to Chisinau. The benches are arranged back to back. I was keen enough to pick a seat situated behind a man with this aforementioned signature breath. I guess I have reached the point in the story where I need to describe the Moldovan Old Man Breath. Imagine, if you will, your grandfather after a night of drinking vodka and house wine until he sees three babas instead of one. He also has been smoking a carton of cigarettes, and eating a bucket of sunflower seeds. He goes to bed, wakes up, enjoys a bit of the three again and heads out to face the world. He didn't brush his teeth. Did he do the standard "Blow in Your Hand" breath test, I think not. Wouldn't help if he did, he probably doesn't own toothpaste and never touched a toothbrush judging from his brown stained teeth. Imagine what that would smell like, add in a tight situation which is inescapable and oila! Welcome to hell. During the first hour of the trip I could avoid inhaling his appalling breath by not looking out the window. If I turned my head towards the window the man's breath would flow towards the window, bounce off, and head straight for my smelling device. The last hour and a half of the trip I was forced to breath in the toxic fumes which had consumed all of the air around me. I am sure everyone else in the five foot circumference was subjected to the same pleasantries. When the train halted to a stop, I clawed my way to the front of the line and gasped for clean air after jumping off the train like CEOs jumping off Enron stock. I have vowed to carry gum with me whenever I use public transportation and offer it to any man guilty of the Moldovan Old Many Breath. I only have about five pieces, so any donations would be greatly appreciated.