Lights on for Safety

With the Odyssey of the Mind Competition called off because of undesirable weather (lots of snow and icy roads) I had a lot of free time in Chisinau. I got in on Friday and did not have an appointment till Sunday midmorning. Normally, I would have stressed out, worrying about where I would go, what I would do, who I would have sleeping in my room. Thinking I would be a failure if I did not do what was "acceptable" in the eyes of others. Success meant (in my head), being in a group of people, going out to eat, watching movies, drinking beers, maybe going to a club... Failure (in my head) was going to the hotel, reading a book, all by myself. Well that was what I wanted to do, and that is exactly what I did. I am slowly breaking through this notion I have in my head that says if you are not out with people, don't get invited places or have plans with other people, you are a failure. I am not one of those "people persons" that HAS to be around people all the time. Hell, I live in Moldova, right? But, when I am around other volunteers I feel the need to be around them and be accepted and liked. I don't compromise who I am or act differently, I know that would be stupid. I like being by myself, but I feel paranoid about being invited places and having plans with others. This is something I have to work on and I have plenty of time to do it.
Ok, on to better things. I hung out in Chisinau, drank tons of milk (not whole milk from the neighbor's cow), ate breakfast, watched the Olympics (we are an hour ahead...aren't you jealous America!!!), and vegged out. I got to spend time with Steph and Jess which always sets up my upcoming week for success. As always, I hate to leave Chisinau. But I didn't want to stay. It just takes effort to go to the bus station, buy a ticket, board the bus, and make the ride. I want to be home, but don't want to go through the means necessary to get there. My body was giving me the signs, I just ignored them.
I got on the 4.40 bus and off it rolled at its designated time. We went through all the normal villages and on our stop in Calarasi the driver noticed our headlights weren't working. He opened a box under the cassette deck and began tugging at some wires, while a cigarette dangled from his lips. He didn't seem to worried, although nighttime was closing in...it was about 6 o'clock. The other four people riding the Greyhound type bus loaded back on after having cigarette and pee breaks and we were on our way. Cars were passing, honking and flashing their lights at us, to warn us off our nonworking lights. It wasn't totally dark and thank goodness for the blankets of snow and bright full moon, we had a little light. I was calculating how much longer it would be till my village and how dark it would be then. And the bus's destination wasn't my village...it had another 45 minutes after Pirlita to get to Falesti. I wish I didn't have the seat in the first row as the bus climbed up steep hills where visibility was nil. I began text messaging my friends telling them that I loved them and to pass it on to my family and friends if the bus crashed. I have never been so scared riding in a vehicle. People standing along the rode could not see a huge bus approaching until it was right beside them. I hoped children hadn't decided to play in the street, their mothers warn them all the time. The driver seemed to steer the bus a little faster but dodged cars on the road, steering the bus into patches of untrodden upon snow, a little more than I desired. I nervously tapped my leg against the side of the bus and brainstormed plans in the chance of the bus leaping over a cliff after sliding along the road. My plan was to wrap my scarf around the metal bar in front of me that is used as a handlebar to board the bus and a divide. Obviously (or I hoped), it was bolted to the bus. I would then tie the scarf around my torso. This is all assuming, of course, I had at least a two minutes notice. The other option, if I had merely seconds, would be to wrap my arms around the metal bar running along the window down the entire bus and screaming the most offensive vulgar English word I knew.
Needless to say, I made it home safely, and almost broke out into a run after stepping off the bus. Thank you Mr. Moon for lighting the way for us. If it had been overcast or cloudy, we wouldn't have made it. I hope they reached Falesti.